Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
