that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
