Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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