who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
