She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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