It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
