so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
