My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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