If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
