Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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