Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
