I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
