Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
