Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
