i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
