At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
