we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
