Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
