so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
