Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
