got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
