the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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