He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
