What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
