i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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