their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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