is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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