wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
