The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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