I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
