I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
