when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
