after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
