She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
