the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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