I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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