it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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