Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
