Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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