She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
