i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
