So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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