Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
