I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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