someone threw a dead crab at me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Houston, we have a blender
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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