is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
