it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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