I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
