U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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