White coat. Heels.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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