His pubic hair was longer than his dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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